A Guide to Holidays with Boundaries
With shorter days and longer to-do lists, the winter months often bring a unique set of mental health challenges. If you’re constantly worrying about your and your loved ones’ health, it might feel like your holiday plans are doomed. Though many of us enjoy reconnecting with family members during this time, it isn’t the case for every family — and we all have our limits. Here are some things to remember when the holidays are starting to feel like too much.
Acknowledge your feelings
If you’ve experienced loss this year or are grieving holiday traditions that can’t happen, it’s okay to feel sad. You’re human and this period won’t last forever.
Plan ahead
Make a schedule for shopping, cooking and other activities. If you stick to a schedule and a budget, you’re less likely to feel overwhelmed by last-minute tasks.
Embrace new traditions
As families change and grow, so do the holidays. Be open to parting with traditions that cause you stress or that you no longer connect with, and to creating new memories and celebrating in different ways.
Say no
Although the majority of Americans (95%) feel that spending time with family during the holidays is important, 75% also reach a point where they feel the need to escape for a moment alone (OnePoll). You don’t have to participate in every activity or gathering you’re invited to, especially if it impacts your mental health. It’s okay to prioritize your well-being over pleasing others, even those closest to you.
Ask for help
If you’re feeling constant sadness, trouble sleeping or anxiety despite your best efforts, talk to your doctor about seeing a mental health professional. Or at the very least, don’t be afraid to ask loved ones to pitch in where you feel you need it: shopping, cooking, decorating, etc.
Learn to let go of familial guilt
Not everyone has the same close relationships with their families. In fact, sometimes those relationships can be the cause of deep stress. If you feel you need to limit time spent with certain family members or forgo certain gatherings, give yourself permission to do so reasonably without feeling guilty.
Other Helpful Resources
- Conquering Year-End Anxieties and Embracing a Fresh Start
- Loneliness and Loss During the Holidays
- SAD Symptoms and How to Combat Them
- Mindful Advocates: In a unique role exclusive to Blue KC health plans, Mindful Advocates are available 24/7 at 833-302-MIND (6463). A Mindful Advocate can offer in-the-moment support and help Blue KC members access tools, including in-person, text, online therapy, and virtual care options specific to the member’s behavioral healthcare needs.
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: The 988 Lifeline provides 24/7 free and confidential support for people in distress and prevention and crisis resources.
- In-person and virtual trainings for employer groups: The Blue KC Behavioral Health Team offers training sessions to your company or organization, including topics like seasonal depression, grief and loss during the holidays, and boundaries.
This article is brought to you by Lucet. Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Kansas City partners with Lucet to optimize our members’ access to behavioral health services. For more information call the behavioral health number on your member ID card or login to your member portal at MyBlueKC.com. If you are experiencing a medical emergency call 9-1-1. If you are experiencing a behavioral health emergency call or text, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 9-8-8.
